I don’t know if its just me or does everyone gets hassled by a small, inconsequential incident, worthy of 100% ignorance, as it plays havoc on the mind?
It just happened with me.
Just a couple of days back, I met this girl who was a colleague in an organization I worked sometime back. Not that we were thick friends or something, but meeting her has made a big impression in my mind and left me with questions that perhaps, I will not get answers to. I guess I don’t wish to try getting answers either.
This girl was (is?) academically intelligent and smart, but appeared recluse and socially awkward when we worked at this firm. She sported a couple of tattoos that showed and probably more that didn’t. In short, she was straight out of a Murakami story – unusual, aloof, and with a definite air of mystery surrounding her. My team had a view that she is either an alcoholic or is high on some substance. I didn’t believe so, as I didn’t know how people are supposed to behave or look like when they are high. How naive, you’d say.
Anyway, I never had a real conversation with her (to form my opinion about her) and interactions were limited to work. She was just there, existing in her space and I was too busy minding my own work. Then I had to move on and join a different organization.
Then we met again, some 7 years later and she was completely transformed! She definitely didn’t look stoned – in fact, she has assumed this aura of intelligence and experience. I had hard time believing that she was indeed who she was. So, I went ahead and said hello, and made some small talk about past, present etc. The social awkwardness, recluse nature is still there. She has changed jobs, a 180 degree shift I’d say, to a job that requires you to stay among people, behave much more socially than the previous role she was working in. The appearance has become what we assume or term as normal.
Since the meeting, I have two thoughts in my mind –
- I wish I could have known her better to register or recognize the personality change that has taken place.
- Is this life? Turning into what is acceptable or normal as per the set rules of society? From very far, I like her previous self better than the renewed, more acceptable self. I would have been much happier if she would have continued to remain the same.
But then who remains same? We all change, the moment changes and things that are today, will never be same in future. Why do I strive for normalcy, when I know its simply not possible.
Things will change. That’s the way it goes.