Conversations as I write, face extinction. No, I don’t mean the kind we have everyday, but the one that forces you to think, gets the ‘real’ you talking, that kind. The one that forces you to take a position, a fundamental, philosophical position and not just the one that is somebody else’s view making way through your mouth. The one that has gracious helpings of your attitude, your views and how you perceive life. The one that will blow away your facade and exposes the real you, without you bothering about what your interlocutor would think!
When was the last time you had a real conversation like this, and how you wished it would never end?
Off course, we do ‘talk’ a lot in our daily lives. How much of these ‘talks’ have you really hooked on, is not difficult to guess. But we have to do it anyway. We talk to family, co-workers, shopkeepers, tele-callers and so on. About real mundane issue, that are important for us to carry out our daily chores. Here’s a listing of what constitutes 90% of what I talk about on a nice, sunny weekday of my life:
- Food: What to eat, where to eat from (if eating out)
- Work: to-do things, meetings, general bitching about boss / co-workers, working conditions, speed of execution etc.
- Newspaper headlines: On political issues / crime situation / sports / current affairs / Bizarre happenings around
- Weather / Commuting etc.
- Listen and respond to things others have to say
The remaining 10% is what I converse with myself, which is not related to above and gets me thinking and shakes up my brain. This 10% is what I really would like to talk about. Most of it, however, evaporates without conclusion.
Why is it so difficult to have a ‘real conversation’?
Well, to have a conversation, you need someone to keep up and respond to the discussion with same (or more) vigor and enthusiasm. A highly unlikely event unless the topic under discussion lies in the intersection of your / your interlocutor’s interests. Being reserved and introverted doesn’t help either.
Secondly, finite time. With our busy lives, spending time on something which doesn’t have a real value (except intellectual satisfaction), would seem like a bad deal. Being ‘to-the-point’ is the motto. Reach office. work. Head back home.
Finally, the mode. Good, long conversations happens face-to-face with visual and other body cues. The instant messaging / anything over internet is a conversation killer. One does a multiple things while conversing over internet / IM (check mail, read news, listen to music, watch a video etc.)
Now I know why long for the weekends – searching for those elusive conversations.