Mathematics of Friendship: Friends on The Time Line


We have surely heard about the ‘chemistry’ between friends… Biology also finds its place in some friendships ;)…but how about maths in friendship… As they say we are ‘calculative’ as a person, we add/subtract/divide friends, look at various permutations and combinations while deciding on who to propose or whom to accept proposal from, love to multiply our chat sessions and so on…there is sure some maths involved somewhere…:)

On a serious note, one thing I have observed/felt is that friendship is indeed a function of time. This means, over a period of time, dynamics of our relationships change…

Communication is the key in any relationship…When we are young, and we have all the time on our disposal, we stay in touch through physical meetings (hang outs!!), phone calls, SMS, FB/Orkut, emails …whichever way possible…then we start getting busy in our lives…the hang outs become less…even the phone calls drop…

And it goes on… we get married, have kids and become engrossed in our lives…In other terms, our priorities shift…this lack of communication creates a gap of sorts between our friends and us…sadly,  sometime it is never filled…It starts with us hesitating to call or get in touch with that friend…How will I explain the reason for not getting in touch for so long – is what we think and if we don’t find any appropriate answer/excuse or sufficient guts to face the situation, we end up not calling that person…

One argument in favor of not staying in touch is that…we need to understand that people get on with their lives as we do…and the rules of the game are rewritten… a phone call/email/or a SMS (on birthdays/festivals that too) every six months constitutes staying in touch…

This is mostly true for all cases except, where you have friends studying and working/or staying in same places.

Generally, this approach works out pretty well…I would not say that forget your old friends, keep in touch with them as well…But, I feel in life, relationships teach you more than anyone else…Therefore, Its very important to meet new people, hear their experiences, their perspectives and understand their individualities…more and more people you meet, more open and tolerant you become to different opinions and ideas…eventually, you may  start respecting the heterogeneity that exists among us humans…. a key in holistic development of a person….

Coming back to friends, we always tend to have a close set of friends (probably not more than 1, 2 or 3; usually friends made in formative years, college, first job etc.) which we consider closest and would go to for any kind of support or need. These are the friends you would not want to forget and get out of touch with. Small efforts to be in touch…here and there…. would go a long way in creating an unbreakable, long lasting bond.

“Out of sight, out of mind” is a dangerous philosophy to follow, because, the same thing can be used against you as well. You may not realize its danger initially, but when you are in need and have no one to share, that’s when it would hit you hard! To help avoid this thinking,  Messengers and Social Networking websites are helping people create new set of rules for their friendship and help them communicate…

Crux is… you can’t ignore the importance of friends…and in the age of internet, you CAN stay in touch if you WANT to stay in touch….

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