I still haven’t found what I am looking for…


What I think of Life? Good question.

To me, Life indeed is beautiful – if lived with a sense of purpose, a direction. People claim to be happy and say “we know what we are doing” and “we control our lives”, which actually amuses me. Because, the same set of people claim they are depressed and facing tension. So, how do we verify that we have found our purpose, our direction in life, and it is us, who are controlling life and not vice-versa? But why am I even talking about controlling life? Why don’t we just go with the flow and accept the norm, the obvious.

Ambition, desire, expectations and dreams – tell me, how our life will be without these words? Presence of any of these in our self is sufficient to provide us ability to ask question and put us in a situation of quandary. We wish to change the world, want to make a difference in our/other’s life, want to be famous, want to mint money, want to reach pinnacle in our careers and at the same time, we want to be happy and lead a ‘balanced’ life. I guess, we are so busy thinking about routine life and its problems that we never come out of the sleep and ask ourselves – why am I here? Is that what I wished to do in life? Am I happy doing this? Life is an aggressive striker, we just can’t figure out the score. and when we do, we are too exhausted or entrenched in coming to terms with our daily, routine, purposeless and direction – less life.

Equilibrium, I have been told is an ideal concept! To have the cake and eat it too – seems to be the biggest challenge…

Around me, everybody, including me, is in abeyance, trying to come in terms with what they want. They earn enough money, are at good position in their careers, have good set of friends and partners,  but crib about something that is missing. This missing bit is what puts us in abeyance, makes us believe we are lacking direction, purpose. Is it for real?

I am still searching for an answer…

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4 thoughts on “I still haven’t found what I am looking for…

  1. Hi Sachinarya ! I really liked your post and your style of writing . Now keeping to the theme of your post I would like to comment . Life is a big question mark for me too and can very much relate to those people whom you have mentioned as in the state of abeyance . I also have everything in life like comfort etc however there is something missing and I’m also impatient in many aspects of life . Also had read your post on relationship . I could relate to that too! I also sometimes just settle for anybody instead of waiting for the correct person of my dreams.

    • Thanks Tasneem

      Those are kind words you have written…

      I am glad that I could relate to you through my thoughts…I am sure if people take some time out of their hectic lives and introspect on whatever they have lived so far, most of them would come out with questions like – Is that what I want out of life? Am I really made for doing this? Is that my purpose or my calling?
      My solution to get out of this mess is to follow what your heart says…no body can help you in this..no matter how close that person may be to you…its that time in life when we stop following the herd and make our own way… I guess true calling is all about understanding yourself, your abilities and doing what gives you happiness and pleasure…

      It is difficult…to change course, to sacrifice lot of things and to stop doing certain things and start doing others…true test of ‘will’ power…

      decision rests with individuals – life with certainity, purpose and happiness or life with false belief of certainity, purpose of happiness…

      Thanks again for your motivation…

    • Thanks …

      I am humbled with your comments..and find you in simlar shoes… emotionally confused (or experienced) and creating your way thru the life…

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